Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Off the wagon and into the cookie jar...

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves" Edmund Hillary (thanks Jackie for the card)

I am not a big fan of being human. I don't like imperfection and I don't like weakness. And I especially despise those things in myself.

So it really irks me to have to say that last night I finally fell victim to the Girl Scout cookies, thin mints to be exact. I knew it was coming, I have been sugar/carbo craving for a week now (since we upped my calories) and I knew last night I was failing in fighting it. But none of that makes me any happier about not being strong enough at times.

This was my first major cheat since I started with Gui in November, I made it through the holidays, I made it through celebrations, but last night it was just not happening.

I am handling it better today than I thought I would (I knew this was going to happen at some point and more feared the next day than the doing it). I am angry and frustrated with myself for doing it, but I am not feeling like it means I am off track, and that surprises me. I guess this is one time when my logical side is a plus in all this.

The reality is I had 6 cookies *blushing*. That is 228 calories. You have to eat 3500 calories to gain a pound of fat. So while that doesn't excuse what I did, in the grand scheme of things I could have done a lot worse things. Also as far as my day goes, it really only put me 135 calories over where I should have been.

Not sure if saying all that is really me ok with this, or rationalization, but either way I am facing with what happened and I am putting it behind me. I can't change it so why stress it.

I would normally have my compensate reaction (extra hour in the pool today to make up those calories) but I am also going to take a leap of faith today and not go that route either. I have my plan of how much I am supposed to exercise this week, and blowing that is going to cause more harm than the cookies (or so the trainer would tell me, I think). Not to mention you can't burn off cookies today that you ate yesterday.

Onward and upward right? No more slips but no looking back... right???

PS Thank you to my facebook friends who tried so hard last night to help me avoid the cookies and who propped me back up this morning!!!! You guys are the best.


  1. Pam-I am glad you liked the bday card! Felt it was very fitting. I am in awe of your determination!-Jackie

  2. Shalom Pam,
    Don't be hard on yourself for being human. We all have cravings and it is okay to give in. Look, let's not fool ourselves. We eat what we like because we can! That doesn't mean that you have too, but it is no crime if you do. What good is being miserable-that only feeds into depression and the "who gives a shit" syndrome. Eat the cookie, enjoy it and get on with your life. You are going to be surrounded for the rest of your life with people who never had a weight problem, who can eat like real pigs and never gain an ounce, with people who stuff their faces at buffets and drink like fish-does that mean you have to do the same? Of course not! But we live in a society that practically worships food, we are bombarded with TV commercials and cooking shows and you can't walk past a bakery or a restaurant without smelling something delightful being prepared.
    The answer to all the urges and cravings is to recognize them, be aware of what you can do about them, and if you want to indulge, go for it if it makes you happy. Just think before you do and know your own level of temptation. Will one cookie satisfy me or do I need to eat 10? Do I need that dessert of cake or will a piece of fruit do. We live in an era of many choices and only our own mentality is there to guide us but there is no sense whatsoever in being upset over that extra cookie. Move on, remember and the next time you want that cookie, know what it will cost you and decide what is more important-what will make you happier, the cookie for the moment, or the calories that you'll have to work off for it?
    There was a very funny comedienne some years ago, Elayne Boosler. she had a line that i still use-she used to say that she doesn't eat ice cream anymore, she just rubs it on her ass cause that is where it is going! I am not a female and I really don't worry about my ass, but it is quite a while between ice cream sodas, and I really don't miss them. But a good bagel? That is another story!