|Membership photo taken on Nov 19, 2009 |
when I joined LTF
For those that haven't been reading the blog from the beginning. Black Friday 2009 was when I joined Lifetime Fitness, started working with a trainer, started the journey that I thought was only about losing weight, but have since realized was so much more.
|Before photo, Feb 2009|
|Nick and I at the Vikings|
game this year
|Me with Snapper, the horse|
who changed it all
|Joker and I in the first snow, one of the few pictures|
in the world of me laughing...ironically I have no clue what about
|Etta, Snapper and me|
My life has changed a ton in two years, my body has changed a ton in two years, but unfortunately my brain hasn't changed in those two years, I thought for a while it had, near the middle of the first year, but I realized this past week how much I still am locked in "brain fat" and "brain fears". Where I have stopped being a prisoner to my body, I still wrestle with being a prisoner to my thoughts and my memories. I still stop myself from doing things, including riding, based on fears about my body and whether it will do what I want it to or not. I still fight myself around food and eating, based on those old messages.
Which brings me to my goals for year 3.........getting my brain to catch up with my body. To stop living in the past in my thoughts, my fears, my behaviors. Because I fear til I do that I am stuck at this point of "good enough but not where I want to be" with my food, my weight, my happiness, my riding, all of it.
|Kola and I off on an adventure|
|Me on Cheyenne|
On to year three.....