Saturday, March 27, 2010

No strings attached....

"Alright Ed, your best day, what was it? Twins in a trapeze, what?" City Slickers

One of my favorite movies of all times is City Slickers. It is as sarcastic and unconventional as I am. I have always remembered the scene where they are riding along and discussing the best day of their life. The day that stands out above all others. Not a day like your wedding or the birth of your children which is meant to stand out, but an everyday day that lasted a lifetime. They answered the question easily, I never could.

The question of what was my best day was always one I struggled with. Don't get me wrong, I have had a good life, and there have been lots of good moments, but I can't say that before today there had been a great day. A day that stood the test of time for its pure joy and feeling of contentment. 

But without a doubt I can say, yesterday (Friday) was my best day!

It is the first day in my life that I can remember from start to finish not once questioning who I was, what the people around me were thinking about me or if I fit. This was a day of total love and acceptance and joy. From the tears of joy as a surrogate mother to me growing up opened the door and realized who she was seeing, to lunch with a teacher I havent seen since 7th grade who proudly introduced me to everyone we met, to the laughing so hard we were nearly crying at 2am with a friend I haven't seen since we graduated, this was a day I didn't want to see end, for fear I would never feel this way again.

Whether I am loved, whether I am cared about, what people are really thinking about me is such a struggle for me. I always wonder if the people I interact with on a daily basis really want me in their lives or are merely putting up with me and waiting for me to be gone. I try so hard to read minds and know if I am wanted or not. I always have. But today I knew that answer from start to finish. This was a day of pure unconditional love!

This genuinely was my best day!


  1. So glad I was a part of it, Pam. One correction. We haven't seen each other since you finished 9th not 7th grade. My only regret is that I had no idea of the torments you suffered growing up, until now. Be well, be happy, and keep up the good work.

  2. wow! That is so awesome Pam!
    Wish I was part of it!
    Thanks for sharing,