Saturday, March 13, 2010

A full stomach and a full heart...

Today has been an extreme roller coaster ride. I started the day in a great mood and looking foward to working out a good chunk of the day, part way through morning the wheels came off the plan and I was forced to face parts of my mind and heart I try to stay away from and hit a really low spot, but tonight ended with a very dear person stepping in and getting me back on track.

As I said in my post yesterday, sometimes we can right ourselves when we tumble off the path, and sometimes it takes someone else. Today was the latter. When my shell was cracked and my insides melted today I couldn't see past it. I couldn't see that I could start again and get going in the right direction. It wasn't a good feeling or place to be.

Thankfully Ann stepped in and didn't ask what I needed, or ask how I was going to solve it. But instead told me how we were going to deal with it. For as much as I don't like to cede control, it was what I needed today, I needed not to have to be the one with the plan, I needed not to have to be able to do it all, I needed to let someone else to lead the way for a few steps, because I couldn't even see the doors in front of me at that moment. And Ann in her wisdom, didn't ask me if it was ok if she lead (we both know I would have fought the idea) she just did it. And for that I am so grateful.

Ann is a new addition to my life, she is someone I met through the EAT class I am attending weekly at LTF and we have also spent a decent amount of time chatting with outside of class. We have attended a couple group work outs together and she is just fun to be around, a fitness partner in crime if you will. This morning she was the first person I saw after my work out (we had agreed to meet this morning after my time with Gui) and I wasn't in a good place when she joined me at the cafe.

After only moments of chatting she informed me we were going grocery shopping tonight together and she was going to come over and make dinner and show me some tips (I am the world's worst cook). And that is exactly what transpired.

She made an amazing meal (which I actually think I could do on my own), I have fruit and other things now prepped and in my freezer (to help me carry out some of the great suggestions Gui made today to get me through breakfasts), we made hard boiled eggs (also for breakfasts) and I have great left overs for a couple meals

Nothing we did tonight changes the mountain I have to overcome with me and food, but I do feel like I am slightly more in control now and have some tools to get through tomorrow, which is my goal right now, one day at a time. I need to step back from looking at what will I weigh in a week, when will I hit the next milestone and just focus for now on the next meal, the next hour, the next day. The big picture still feels too big for me at the moment. I need to take some baby steps for a couple days.

Ann I will forever be indebted to you for what you did for me today. Thank you!

1 comment:

  1. Aw, Pam!!! I just saw this post today. It was fun to spend the evening cooking and laughing with you. And you were very kind not to mention the fact that the delicious chicken (cooked at high heat) splattered all over your pristine oven and smoked up the house!! Next time, we'll do a simple sauteed chicken breast on the stove top, smoke free!! We (you) did hatch the idea that women supporting each other in weight loss and maintenance would do well to cook and chop veggies together on a regular basis. Glad to be on the journey with you!