Saturday, April 17, 2010

Friends don't let friends vacation blenderless...

"This is where the rubber meets the road,
This is where the cream is gonna rise,
This is what you really didn't know,
This is where the truth don't lie!

You find out who you're friends are,
Somebody's gonna drop everything,
Run out and crank up their car,
Hit the gas get there fast,
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far',
They just show on up,
with their big old heart,
You find out who you're friends are"

Time for another thank you. I saved this one a few days. I wanted to know the end to the story, before I told the beginning. Now I can write the true thank you with all the gratitude it deserves.

So first my helping of crow, for all the freaking out I did earlier this week about feeling like I was gaining weight on vacation, in the end, I lost at least a pound while I was gone!!!! The trainer confirmed it yesterday. For as much as I panicked before going (to the point of almost cancelling) and was obsessing over the scale and sat in tears one morning in Tel Aviv, it all turned out perfectly.

That outcome has taught me two lessons....

1. I need to get better about being comfortable letting other people help me
2. I have to figure out how to chill on the number on the scale thing

Number 2 is a lot harder, so today is about lesson #1....friends and life being a team sport.

I have great friends, many of whom would give the shirt off their back for me. But despite that I have a really hard time letting them help me and an even harder time asking for help. I am used to being the "do-er" in the group. I am comfortable in that role. If someone needs something I am there, I handle it, to quote Nuk..."I'm Auntie Plan". Need a solution, I'm your girl!!! It is very hard for me to cede that role and let others come up with my plan. I have to really be in a bind before I reach out for help. And once I reach out to someone if I feel I have been shot down or they were put out, I never go back. It is a kind of vulnerability I struggle with daily.

Luckily I have a few friends who don't wait for permission to help, they know better, they just do! Laura Bialis-Vaknin is one of those people and especially was on this trip. If she hadn't been I probably never would have even made it to Israel let alone had the amazing trip I did.

I have mentioned Laura before in the blog. I met her a year ago on a UJC trip to Sderot. We were guests in her home. She is a film maker from Los Angelos who has made Aliyah to Israel. Laura is one of those people you just love to be around, she is fun, smart and just makes you laugh. She also has a heart of gold, whether it is for people, causes or animals! I consider myself very blessed to have her as friend! And still thank whatever fates brought her into my life.

Laura made this trip a "piece of cake" for me in so many ways related to food and exercise. First of all she pieced me back together after my pre-trip freak out about could I even handle this (while I was on a business trip and not handling well), she pre-shopped for me (almond milk, PB, almond butter) and she went to the hotel before I headed for Israel to make sure my room would have a fridge and to sent us a list of exercise equipment so the trainer could prep me for how to stay with my workouts. My favorite part of all, she showed up at the airport blender in hand so I could keep my eating on track. How many friends would do that for you??????????? True friendship always involves a blender in a foreign country I have learned *grin*.

Once I was there she not only was a great tour guide (Sderot and the animal hospital in Tel Aviv which was AWESOME) but she took me shopping at the shuk for great fruits and veggies (we never did find those plums) and made an amazing, healthy Shabbat dinner at her home (including my pumpkin things...sorry Avi *grin*). She was a phone call away (ok an email away) the day I felt over my head, and even scolded me for not calling for faster help. Bottom line I knew I wasn't in this alone and she would do anything possible to make this easier for me.

Letting her do all these things did not come easy or naturally for me. I hate being an imposition, but not once did she make me feel I was asking too much or was in the way. I have no doubt her help and support is why I didn't gain 10 lbs this trip and why I was able to come back right on track from where I left off.

Laura, I am so grateful to you for all you did for me, in the middle of a crazy time in your life. For your dear friendship, for your support and above all for your kitchen appliances. I love you my friend and I know that how successful my trip was is in large part thanks to you!!!! I miss you and can't wait to see you again, along with that new baby that is on the way.

PS...Avi, thanks for sharing her with all of us last week. Know it wasn't making your life any easier, but hope reading this you know how much she means to all of us and how valuable she was to me.

PSS...for those keeping track, with that additional one pound, I have now lost 72 pounds total and most importantly 45 lbs with the trainer in the last 20 weeks!!!!


  1. Quadruple chai. How appropriate.

  2. Marty, Didnt even think of that. Good catch. For those not understanding his comment. 18 is an extremely important number in Judiasm, and relates to life (chai)....72 lbs is 4 x 18!!!!