Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Milestone days...

"It’s overwhelming looking up,
I know when it’s the challenge of
Me against this heartache to survive
I may slip and I may fall,
But even if I have to crawl

I’m gonna take that mountain,
Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain’t no way around it.
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it,
I’m gonna take that mountain" Reba McEntire

Today and tomorrow are two milestone days......

One year ago today I was weighed at the doctor, and that is the 338 number we have been using as a basis. While I did not really start dealing with that number on this date, it was the day that I had the first serious conversation my doctor about gastric bypass surgery. It is the date that I decided enough was enough even if I didn't know what my path was going to be for solving it.

This is what I looked like in May 2009.

At the time my shirts were 3x or 4x. My pants were plus size 12. My ring size was 10. My shoe size was 10 1/2. Physically I could barely go more than a few feet without resting. I couldn't work out or do any physical exercise at all. I was living on soda and eating very little. Stairs were an impossibility and so was much else in my life!

Six months ago tomorrow (for anyone checking the date it was Black Friday!) I started working with Gui, my personal trainer. On 11/27/09 I weighed 311 pounds. My shirts were at 3x, my pants were plus size 11. My ring size was 10. My shoe size was 10 1/2. Stairs were still out, and I had just doing some very short workouts, mostly water aerobics in the pool.

Here is the photo taken when I joined Lifetime Fitness a few days before that...

In the last six months I have worked harder than I have at anything in my life. I typically work out with Gui (doing strength/resistance/weight training) 3 days a week. Three days a week I do some form of cardio (swimming, treadmill, bike).

This is what I looked like a week ago...

My weight is currently 258 lbs...for those doing the math, that is 80 pounds overall (nearly 24% loss), 53 pounds in the 6 months (over 17% loss) I have been serious about this. Today I bought 3 more skirts, they were size Large and purchased in a "regular store". My shirts tend to be XL or L. My ring size has dropped to 7 1/2, my shoe size is 8 1/2. I competed in a triathlon a few days ago. I no longer use an elevator in most situations (airports and places where it is only that or an escalator are the exceptions).
I have changed how I eat, how I sleep, how I exercise and as a result how I dress, how I think and what I am willing to try. As a dear friend pointed out tonight "this is certainly different than it was a couple years ago".

I wouldn't be honest if I made this all sound like it has been or is easy or perfect. This journey has been hard, especially in the last month to 6 weeks. Eating enough food, staying focused and not giving up on myself in all this has become harder not easier for me. I don't understand that, and it frustrates me, because I am not sure how I got to this point of feeling off track, but it's where I am at right now. I know I have accomplished things in the last year I never thought possible, I don't ever lose sight of that, but right now I see the mountain ahead of me more than I see the path behind me. My life in the last 6-12 months has definitely gotten better, easier and happier than I ever anticipated when I started this journey, but I can't say the journey itself has gotten easier. And I did expect it would, maybe that expectation was my mistake, who knows.

I also don't know for sure where I see me being with all this 6 months for now. I would like to say I see myself at least another 50 lbs lighter. I would like to say I see myself having an easier time with food and eating enough. I would like to say I still see myself working with a trainer and committed to working out. I had genuinely thought by 6 months in I would know for sure that all those were doable, I really don't right at this moment though, but as they say, time will tell. So I promise another status update (in addition to the regular posts between now and then) on 11/26/10.

I was asked last week if I regret starting this journey. I can say without a shadow of a doubt NO! I am grateful for what I have accomplished, for those who have helped and supported me to this point and for being able to change my life to where I am now. I would never want to go back to where I was. For any uncertainty I feel about the future, I have zero doubt about the path I have taken to this point!

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